Argh!!!! And a Double Quadruple Argh!!!!

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This is not going to be a pretty, positive, flowery blog entry today. I warn you. This is going to be one of the ugly truth kind of blogs. Yesterday I was so super angry and frustrated. It all started when I went to get a fill in my lap band. I was hoping for a tiny .2 or .3 cc fill that would help give me a little more restriction.  WELL, the nurse decided that she needed to pull out all the fluid to see how much there really was in there. On one hand I could understand the thought behind it. My lap band can only hold 10 ccs and since I'm getting really close to the maximum amount that it can hold it's important that they know how much is really in there. I'm guessing something bad can happen to the band if you go over the 10 ccs.

The problem is this. A year into having my band I got a bad stomach virus and I threw up for a whole day. I was so sick that I had to go in to have some fluid taken out. I went back and started having it put back in but ever since that time I stopped losing weight and I have never been able to get back on track. So yesterday was a big deal.

I couldn't believe she had to take out all the fluid to measure it. When she she started putting the fluid back in I knew all of it wouldn't go in and I was right. I was super tight and she had to keep taking more out until she could get me to a point where I wasn't too tight. (When you are tight you feel like you are going to throw up water.) Apparently I have a very sensitive stomach that can't take too drastic a change. So instead of getting a fill I left there with 4 ccs less than when I went in.

I was livid! I felt like I took 3 steps back instead of a step forward. I felt frustrated and angry. I'm better today but I'm hungry. After having them mess with the lap band that much, and especially because of my reaction, I have to stay on liquids for 4 days and then soft food for two days. I'm on Day 2 and I'm starving. I hope I can hang in there for two more days.

So that's the story. We'll see how this all works out. Hopefully the 4 days of liquids will give me a kick start.