Friday, July 2, 2010
The Challenges of Eating & Not Eating
Design by Anne Taintor
I was on the phone with my husband today, right after warming up some soup for lunch. I told him I was about to eat lunch and while we were talking my stomach growled really loud. It was so loud he actually heard it through the phone line and he laughed. I told him I felt like I was starving so I hung up with him and started to eat. Well, either I started eating too fast (which I didn't feel like I did) or something just got stuck. I had to stop eating abruptly and now I feel like something is lodged in my chest and it's taking away my appetite, simply because I can't eat a thing now. So now I'm getting the sensation of being full, but really I'm still hungry. That my friends is a lap band experience sometimes.
Then there is the opposite of this kind of experience. Wednesday night I went out to eat with some friends and I was able to eat eight nachos with beef fajita on them. EIGHT! That's insane and shouldn't even be possible, but somehow on Wednesday I was able to do that. Then today I'm starving and this...
The lap band is so finicky. On the day that I needed a fill I had to have some liquid taken out after the nurse filled me, because I was too tight. Yet after doing the liquids and the soft food days I could eat like I did before getting the fill. What happened that day that I went in for the fill I don't know. My body and stomach just decided that they didn't like that little bit of liquid tightening up the lap band so they decided to rebel. That and my hormones were starting to act up too, so the combination did it. That's the only explanation I can think of.
Yes, having a lap band is a challenge and yes I may not have lost all the weight I was hoping and yes, sometimes I can eat a lot, but in the end I will never eat as much as I did in my past life. And that is what keeps me motivated.